Goodbye 2008

I can't say I'll remember you fondly.

I'm done decorating, ready to cook and am now waiting for Sofie to arrive.
I'm SO excited for this year to be over, I absolutely cannot wait till I can finally say Happy 2009... I'm actually somewhat jealous of Camilla who is in Australia ATM and it is already 2009 down there haha (Happy New year baby)

This year just sucked, didn't it? There ae very few moments this year I actually remember with a smile. I didn't live this year, I just remembered to breathe so I could survive long enough to see the next year... and now we're finally here! 8 hours and 15 minutes to go and then I personally think we'll be entering a fantastic year.

I guess all that is left to say is...

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!

ZA

Looking back...

This year really hasn't been amazing, has it?
Seems no matter who I ask they tell me that 2008 sucked ass...and I can only agree.

There were of course good moments, getting a good job, gigs, little things with friends but in general it was just a BAD year.

So many people died, but ones close to me and famous people I liked... I'm still not fully over the death of Heath Ledger:



It's simply amazing how many bad things happened this year so I truly believe 2009 will be much better.

I don't have many plans for new years eve.
Sofie is coming over, we're watching movies and that's probably it haha

Ciao
ZA

Stupid Myspace

I just made this playlist for Myspace, only to find out that they don't allow them anymore....
So I'm posting it here so it doesn't go to waste.

Note to self

Bring veggie food from home next time!
It is fucking impossible to find any here, I haven't had a decent meal since I left home.

Le sigh
ZA


-- Post From My iPhone

I cannot believe this...

As previously mentioned, I am not a fan of Christmas and all that comes with it. Yet I decided that I would take my grandmother up on her offer and fly over to visit her so I could be rid of my fucking aunt and her Satan kid.

I do this and things are ok, despite my stepdad being completely effed up on drugs and behaving like someone posessed!
Then yesterday my grandmother tells me that my uncle called to say that he, my aunt and said Satan child... Are on their way over to us!!!
I could not believe it.... She doesn't even like us and it's not like my uncle has something to say so I know it is not his choice! She ALWAYS wants to stay at her house for Christmas for "her sons sake" so WHY did she suddenly come here???
Because I went here so she felt like her sorry ass was
Missing out on something and she couldn't boss people around and make sure the Satan child was the center of attention ALWAYS!!!!
God this sucks!!!!!!

It is 9am and I've been awake for 2 hours, I am hungry yet I refuse to leave the room that I'm staying in because I don't wanna be around them!
That's NOT how I wanted Christmas to be!

Seriously though, I've never loved my iPhone more! I don't think I would have survived had I not been able to hide away, go online and rant to Kathy last night and now on this blog! My iPhone is the best thing ever....

By the new year I will claim edge.
I've given it alot of thought after I quit smoking and I know it is the right decission for me. I am so very excited about it.

ZA (soon to be ZXA)




Can you tell I am scared of flying?? Haha


-- Post From My iPhone

I made the right decission...

I'm so glad I slept on it instead of being weak and giving in.
Sometimes a good nights sleep really does help when it comes to making decissions.

We are done, for good this time... I do not wish to have any part of your life anymore!
You can call me selfish, you can call me whatever the hell you'd like... I know the truth!
The end.

Dear Life... You tend to suck alot.

I think I chose the wrong music to play while writing this blog.
I am currently dancing in my seat to "Poker Face" with Lady GaGa, but don't let that fool you... I'm not really in a good mood it... far from it actually.

After several attempts of asking americans to marry me this very instant, I've given up.
I will now have to accept that I am not able to make a lovely little video for AFI and then at least be a part of the competition to come sing on the new album.
Thankfully I saw this video this morning:


And that calmed me a bit, I'm kinda over my "FUCK YOU AFI" trip cause Davey is just lovely as always in that video and that voice of his does always calm me down.
I still do think it is unfair that only americans get a chance but there is little I can do about it.

I hope there will be some special event in Europe this time, but if not then I will be perfectly content just seeing them again and hearing the new music.

In other non AFI related news:
Christmas is coming soon, only a couple more days.
If you read my last blog you will know how I feel about that. That being said though, I gave in and accepted an invitation from my grandmother and am now "celebrating" Santaday there.
I told her that I would leave in a heartbeat if she drinks herself stupid...we shall see what happens!

I'm intensely excited about 2009.
I have such a good feeling about that year, I truly believe that AFI will release their new album and hopefully they will even come over for a couple of gigs.
I've gotten rid of so many negative things in my life, hopefully people I care about will stop dying all the time as they did in 2008... I just really think it'll be a good year.

That be it
ZA.

Dear Christmas

We meet again....
How I wish it wasn't so!!!

Seriously...
This season does nothing but make me fucking depressed.
I wish people would get it into their god damn heads that not everyone had a perfect childhood and therefore not everyone enjoys the wonders of christmas.
Christmas in my family is nothing but bad memories therefor I do not wish to celebrate it...for me there is NOTHING to celebrate.
I wish people would understand that and stop trying to make me all jolly about it and sing christmas songs to me... It makes me want to run away and cry, get that through your thick skull!!!

I wish it wasn't so...
I wish I had a good and normal family where I would feel a sense of ease and feel like I belong as soon as I walked into their house!
I wish I had a family I loved and could feel proud of.
I wish that each and every one of them weren't a bunch of drunks and junkies... but they are, so christmas is not a happy occasion to me.
This year I decided to say fuck them all and just not even go spend time with them.
I'm gonna be a complete Grinch, stay home and try to pretend it is any other day.

Maybe one day I'll meet a man, fall in love and build a healthy relationship with him and his family, maybe they would invite me over for christmas and I would see it could be something happy, something to celebrate... Maybe then I'll join you in your christmas songs.
But untill then, leave me the fuck alone, don't talk to me about something that breaks my heart!

><

In Other non christmas related news...
I'm at work and I'm bored to pieces, hence this blog.
There are actually calls I should be answering but I chose to pause myself and write this before I had a nervous breakdown.
It is friday tomorrow and the weekend is much needed...as always!

AFI are playing at KROQ and I wish I was one of the lucky people to attend, but alas... I live in Europe and will only see it on the Interwebzz.
It'll be good to see them again... I missed them and it made me realize that nothing else matters.
Many of the FAKE friendships they caused are over, one in particular which caused me many problems with stalkers... it is over so leave me be, you won't get anything from me anyway!!

That is all...

Ciao
ZA

Ouch...

I did something with my back, god knows what!
We were cleaning the appartment today and then suddenly the small of my back started hurting.
Now it has completely locked itself, I can hardly move and I look like an idiot when trying... this sucks and hurts ALOT!!